10 Signs He Might Be Cheating or Just a Plain Waste of Time

Alright, friends, lets take a break from story time for a bit. They say hindsight is 20/20, meaning you see clearly the mistakes you've made after it's too late. At least this is my interpretation of this common saying. With that said, here are my top 10 signs he might be cheating or at the very least, a d-bag. These signs come from my personal stash of red flags whichi I should have seen, but being caught up in the moment I didn't.

10-His reason for not taking you back to his place is that he has gay roommates who party and do drugs, and while he has nothing against being gay, he just doesn't want to be in that environment. Turns out he really means "I live with my pregnant girlfriend, so clearly, we can't go back to my place.

9-You find a text message on his phone, from his ex, stating "I liked last night." This is what it is, he spent last night with his ex-girlfriend, not at home like he said.

8-When you ask him directly if he is cheating, instead of lying, he simply says nothing. An omission is a lie and not answering is more of an answer than he could ever give.

7-When he's on the phone he asks you to be quiet or only takes phone calls where you can't hear them, for example: the bathroom, or outside.

6-His reason as to why girls are sending him half naked pictures of themselves is because the girl is crazy. No, the girl is not crazy, he has done something to make the girl feel like this is something he wants to see. While I understand that some girls really are crazy enough to send unsolicited photos of their boobies and hoo-ha's, it's rare. Generally these photos are requested from your boyfriend. I know this from being both the sender and the girlfriend whose boyfriend is the receiver. P.S. When the photos are saved to his phone he clearly wanted them, if he didn't want them, he'd have deleted the text message instead of permanently saving it to his phone.

5-It was once said to me that "pieces of shit hang out with pieces of shit." This is almost always true. If the guy you're suddenly ga-ga over has friends who are less than stellar, chances are your new "it" guy is too. You hang with people who are like you, who do things that you do. If the guy is so upstanding and fantastic he would have better friends.

4-He won't stop talking about his ex or forcing you to sit through a slideshow of their old vacation photos, then wondering why you don't want to vaction in that same place. I don't care how much the converstaion is about what a crazy bitch she is, the thing is, if he's talking about her than she's still on his mind and he's not ready to start a new relationship. This guy might be a great catch further down the line, but right now he's clearly still hung up on her, for whatever reason. You don't sit and talk about people you aren't thinking about so if "her" name is constantly coming up it might be best to cut your loses and move on.

3-He only calls you late at night. This should be obvious, but as I said, when you're in the moment and you think you've found the one you'll make various excuses why this is ok. The truth is, it's not ok if the only time you hear from him is late at night or when he's intoxicated. If he really liked you, he'd want to see you in the daylight when he's sober.

2-Your friend calls you from the bar to tell you she just saw your man all up on some other girl. Or in my case, just saw your man with his fingers up the front of her dress. Yes, he's going to deny it and tell you your friend is insane, but unless you know that your friend is actually insane, chances are good this really happened.

1-The number one and often most over looked sign, your gut instinct. We've all been there, met a guy who makes you forget your first name, but the whole time something just doesn't feel right. It's easy to make excuses, to not want to admit that you were wrong, to not want to feel like you've picked "Mr. F'd everyone in the Treasure Valley" AGAIN, but hey shit happens. Sadly, it happens to some of us more than others, but trust me, it's better to get out early than waste your time with someone who doesn't appreciate you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, as they say, so don't be afraid to throw the small fish back and wait for the catch of the day.

Thanks for reading friends and come back soon!

My First Misdemeanor.

Welcome back friends, new and old.

I'm going to take it slow with this first tale. A tale of many firsts for a young me, all of fourteen years old. I'd like to set the mood for you, get a nice ambiance going. Picture if you will, I'm in Nevada, where it's hot and windy and a typical day in junior high. Kids are pushing, hurrying, slamming lockers. I'm lost and shy and the new kid, hating life. I hang in there and eventually I make friends and I meet a boy. A Mexican boy with green eyes who smelled of three flowers hair gel. I think he used a bottle a day, his hair so shiny and black, and slicked back. I'm smitten. I blush. I'm nervous, all the time. We date for a while, we hold hands, we get closer than I've ever gotten with a boy before. (By closer I mean in terms of actual distance. I had never really stood next to a boy before.) I think things at night that I shouldn't at my young, fourteen years of age. This is my first real boyfriend. He wore: baggy jeans, black Nike Cortez', a wife beater under a blue flannel shirt and a belt that hung down as long as his pant leg. He was very dangerous and mysterious and I was hooked. This boy, this green eyed Mexican, is the first in a long line of "bad boys." I will spare you the details of our first kiss, though magical, our first intimate moment, though awkward and shameful. I will simply say that it is not the greatest of ideas to sneak out of your parents house, while they are at work, go to a much older persons house (the kind of older person who still hangs out at the high school, though he's long since graduated) as this is where good intentions go bad. This is where your boyfriend sneaks whiskey into your beer, thinking you're too dumb to smell it. This is the kind of house where your boyfriend takes you into the back bedroom of a single wide trailer and explains that he doesn't need a condom. This house is where I chose to "lose it" while listening to a CD skip. This CD happens to be in the same back bedroom that I am "loosing it" in so of course this much older person has to interrupt to save his CD from being damaged. This is also the house I am at when my brother decides to call my mom at work to report my disappearance.

Side note:

Now let me explain that I wasn't ready to be doing the thing that I was doing. I was encouraged by some very slutty friends to go through with this "loosing it" because "it's the best thing ever!" and "boys will like you more."

Once finished, I realized that neither of these things are true, that the first time is painful and awkward and I felt embarrased that someone had seen me naked. I should have waited. The next school day I was so embarrased that I didn't talk to him. I didn't want to look at him, but ALL he wanted to do was look at me. I was changed, we were changed, life had changed. Later that winter, life would once again change. My green eyed Mexican, my first real boyfriend, my first kiss, my first everything would slip away. And by slip away I of course mean he robbed a grocery store with some friends, got caught because it was winter and when you walk in snow it leaves foot prints, and was swept away to the juvenile detention center. This became his, and he became my, first misdemeanor.

ps. A red flag I should have heeded was when his friend, himself, and I were hanging out on my porch one night and his friend disappeared from sight. The next thing I know his friend is stealing the license plate off of my neighbors car. The two of them buried the license plate in the alley behind my house. Let's just that my neighbors weren't too happy.

Allow myself to introduce...myself.

Hello friends, readers, fellow bloggers, and anyone else who gives two shits (or even just one). I'm not sure where to start. Lately I find myself sharing my tales of relationships past and I always get the same reaction: "Are you kidding me?" My response is generally the same, "Kid you not, true story," or some variation of that statement. It is because of this consistent reaction I thought I might scribe a book of my experiences or perhaps pen a play of my heartache. That, however, seems a lengthy and time consuming process for which frankly, I'm just too lazy. Instead, being that it is 2009, I decided to fill a blog with my never ending, obscure, some times TMI, love stories. And friends, I use the phrase 'love' lightly as most of the stories you are about to endure involve copious amounts of recklessness, alcohol, poor judgement, and plain old disappointment. So, read, enjoy, cringe, even have a chuckle at my expense as I truly believe that laughter (and sweet revenge) is the best medicine.

DISCLAIMER: If you are reading any blog that is posted, at any point in time, and you find yourself feeling a bit of the ol' deja vu; then yes, the blog post in question is probably about you.